Back and Forth

Cardiologists says: This EKG is bad. Nate’s pediatricians says: There is nothing wrong with the EKG. Something is wrong with Mr. Nathanial. No caffeine (wags fingers), no carbonation at all. No pop, no chocolate. We’ll send him to pediatric cardiologist to have him wear the halter monitor. She said also that it is probably not the Adderall. (Most likely it’s the pop we give him to tweak the Adderall.) Since Nate had another episode this morning, she said since he has been off the medication for almost two weeks, it is probably not. I’m not convinced of much but I’ll take what I get at this time. One small sigh of relief. ***** Talked to AZ this evening. Laughed my guts out. We’re still working on actually seeing each other in the flesh. We’ll get there. But, you know, he throws this shit out sometimes that takes me off guard. For example, we were discussing the fact that we have continued to tell ourselves for the past 14 years, “Just one more time, then I’m gonna quit you.” Both knowing, that’s a crock of hooey, and we’re gonna come back around. He asks, “Why is that?” “W-W-What?” Deep, low voice “Why is that?” *Silence* Thinking to self: Why is he digging beneath the surface? I like the surface. The surface doesn’t ask questions. The surface is what it is. Is he fishing? What’s he fishing for? Why did he ask this fucking question? I did finally answer him. In a nutshell - I know he’s not going to turn into a stalker or an annoying whining jerk-off, and, most importantly, I can be myself. (Not to mention he’s HAWT, and we have this attraction to one another, and attitude, we both have this ATTITUDE, he has more attitude than I do, but ya know, it’s there.) But still, most importantly, I can expose the facets of my personality, one after another, in random order, in varying intensities, and he keeps up. Yeah, funny though that he didn’t answer his own question. Hmmmmm... he said for me to call him tomorrow after 11:00. Although I have a feeling, the answer will be about the same.