Bright Blessings!

As we stand a day away from the anniversary of the September 11th attack, I wanted to remember the blessings in my life and how the spirits move in mysterious ways. I'm poor. There is no doubt about this. But, I'm richer than a lot of folks are. For one, I found blogger and I found all of you or you found me. It doesn't matter much who hit who's site first. If I need a laugh or a cry or to vent, I know where to go. You all have been a blessing in my life. I'm blessed in having a very, very interesting child who I wanted to kill this morning. My hands clenched and my teeth ground and I said, "I can't believe I want to kill my only child." Then I talked myself out of it and he's at school, alive and well. He actually did his homework yesterday, 20 pages. He did it and I didn't have stand over him with a sledgehammer. I was so proud and hopeful. I'm blessed. I'm blessed with a dysfunctional family who irritate me but still change my oil and help put brakes on the car when I need it. Life wouldn't be nearly as interesting or irritating without them but that's what families are for, so they're a blessing too. I still have my health, although I'm slowly trying to kill myself with too many cigarettes and gallons of coffee. For the most part, my doctor is mad that I'm not sicker. I may be a little crazy but I think the love I have in me balances that out. I have friends who actually don't use me for anything and who just like to spend time with me, whether it be in person or online chatting. They're a blessing. My boss and my co-workers are a blessing. My boss asked me this morning why I was wearing glasses, obviously outdated, a little yellowed with age, instead of my contacts. Well, my contacts are butt-fockin' old and have began irritating my eyes to the point I can't wear them. I had planned on getting new contacts and glasses this week but alas, I had to pay the phone bill or my blogging would have been done at work instead of home, and I wouldn't have had phone service either. I also am 5 months behind on my car inspection and I need new tires to pass inspection by the end of the month. Did I mention my 20th anniversary trip to Cedar Point next weekend with one of my bestest friends Beanie??? So, my boss decided to give me a $500 bonus. He said, "you're no good to me blind." I told him, "I always make do with what I have." But yeah, a $500 bonus minus taxes will come in handy. I guess that's what I get for telling him I had an offer to make $12,000.00 more dollars a year but turned it down because I knew they would never challange me like he does. I'm very, very blessed. I'm blessed to have the faith that I do in a higher being and the spirits which swirl around me. I have learned when in the darkest hours to simply - give it over to them. To realize that sometimes if you stop trying to control everything and start believing in something bigger, greater and a hell of lot more powerful than you will ever hope to be, life can be calmer and more fulfilling. Its a blessing to realize that I don't have to be strong all the time and I can hand my troubles over to my Lord and Lady and watch the magic that happens when I stop trying to do it all myself. I wish you all Bright Blessings!! ~Inanna