Thursday, November 04, 2004


So why do I want to kick his ass? Because every time he does something good like this, he turns right around and won’t do his damn homework!!! My son, the enigma. I hear its linked to self-esteem, as though he doesn’t feel as though he deserves to be congratulated. Can’t imagine where he gets that from... ahem. I know he worked very hard for it though and he got a free meal from Ryan’s and one from Longhorn Steak House, of course with an adult dinner purchase. Jolly good! I’m proud and I bought him a new book. He made "B" Honor Roll last year too but it was the third nine weeks. Today was also J.A.’s birthday... TLC’s mom. I bought her a book that I hope she’ll let me borrow when she’s done. A mystic romance about some dude being the Lord of the Hedge or Shrub or something. Sounded interesting... really. She had gone out with the girls from work so I dropped it off and her husband, (remember him? – Hagar? – 4 a.m. window yowler?) gave me one of the pastries that he bought her... yum! I also saw TLC’s report card laying on the kitchen floor so I picked it up and laid it on the table. Here’s what I saw: E E E E E E E E He failed every class. EVERY FUCKING CLASS!!!! And he was still walking, talking and breathing, which is at least two more than Nate would be. But ya know, how the hell can you blame him??? A classic case of a perfectly good, intelligent kid being raised by idiots. I should turn the school in too, because I know they passed him.... two years ago? One year ago? With failing grades, just like those. He’s 10 years old and reads on a first grade level. His parents don’t give a goddamn. What a fucking waste!!!! What a waste. What can I do? He won’t let me help him because he doesn’t want to look dumb in front of Nate (I can tell that by the way he gets upset because Nate can read all of the text on their games easily), not realizing, poor guy, that if he let me help him that he wouldn’t look dumb, he would be getting smarter and maybe his asswipe parents would join the crowd. Doubt it. Saw my psyche dude today. Gave him the URL for this blog and my NaNoWriMo blog. Hey Dr. D.!! He’s cool and not just because he may be reading my blog. Definitely doesn’t know the meaning of blowing sunshine up someone’s ass. At least he admits that he doesn’t know what’s wrong with me. Heh, join the club. Upped my current meds, give it some time, see what happens. We’re not in a rush. Hell, I’ve been like this for 33 years.. Why rush now? After seeing him, I always think and then I try to talk things out about what’s going on, which was a good thing when T-Bird stopped by and helped me figure a few things out. One, horseshit on peeps wanting my time. Tired of it. I have child, I have job, I have me, if I have time for you, so be it, if not, get out of my face. Its not that I don’t care, I do. But I can’t care more about them than I do myself. I can’t stretch myself so thin anymore. Back to my famous (infamous?) saying: "It doesn’t have my name on it." A great way to weed out everyone else’s problems from my own. Additionally, having forgotten that EMPATHY I’m so famous for, could account for some of the stress in my life. I’m sure now its an undercurrent of anxiety coming from my boss due to the fact that he and the partners just purchased another law firm for a million dollars. A MILLION FUCKING DOLLARS!!! But... the catch is... he has to do all of the work for it. That’s right. And who works for my boss? Me and Sissy. While he’s 2 or 3 hours away in another law firm reviewing cases etc. Sissy and I will be responsible for holding down everything from the big city end. We’re anxious and I know he is and although he’s not one to voice his fears... he is male after all... I’m sure I’m picking up on it. Truly, he’s a great person and a wonderful guy to work for and I want to do well and make him proud. All that equals... stress. Plus, I’m still single damn it!! The guy at Books-A-Million was hitting on me and then tells me he has a girlfriend... WTF??? Ruin a girl’s night. Said the most interesting thing to me though... "where were you when I was practicing Wicca?" Whaaa??? Whoa, is my pentacle out? Did I mention Wicca? Noooo... so how did he know? Book selection? Dragons, wizards, beadwork? Very interesting... until the girlfriend part. My luck.
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