# 400...

And its a wild one... get in, sit down, shut up and hold on. My mother called me Saturday after I had left a message for her. I saw a familiar name in the obituary section and thought it might be a friend of their's. Since they don't get the evening paper until very late, I thought I would give them a head's up. It ended up not being who I thought it was but she launched into a blow by blow of the past two weeks and I diligently and duly listened to all of her gossip about people I don't know. I was talking to her about Nate and his defiance, when she said, "Oh, well I've tried talking to him, encouraging him. I told him that the man is the head of the house and the breadwinner." That's all it took. I saw ten shades of red and jumped down her throat so far I saw what she had for dinner. I was LIVID. Now, I understood the comment Nate had made to me: "Wow Mom, I don't know what you would ever do without Daddy..." Huh? WTF? I wanted to say that I didn't need his father, never had, never would but I said instead, "No, Nate, I think you meant, what would you ever do." He gave me a funny look at the time and now it all came home to me. Then my Mom tried to backtrack and explain that she told him she only wanted him to do well in school so he could get a good job so his wife could stay home with their children. I asked her how she thought it would affect him if his wife made more money than him or didn't want to stay home? Where is the respect for women who work? And how DARE she undermine my authority by saying that MEN ARE THE HEAD OF THE HOME?? "But I told him that in your instance that you were the head of the house." I guarantee you this... what Nate heard, based on what has gone on around here, is "Men are the head of the house." She has issues with the fact Nate still sleeps in my bed. She had the gall, the fucking nerve, to ask me what I was going to do when he turned over against me in his sleep and had an erection. I told her that my son started having erections upon birth and I in no way intended for him to be sleeping with me when his erection was bigger than a spring mushroom and I thought she was disgusting. Nate and I have talked about him moving into his bedroom. He knows its coming, as soon as I get all the crap out of his room, and he accepts it. Gee, wonder if I should tell Sperm Donor to stop kissing Nate on the mouth, hugging him and telling him he loves him? For the record, my friend Markus in Germany, still greets his mother, sister and father with a kiss on the mouth and a hug and he's 34 years old. He even greets me that way because he sees me as a family member. And he's just as much a man as men who don't. My mom spends all this time bitching about how emotionally withdrawn my dad and brother are... small wonder when forced into the role of "man." NO emotion, NO feelings... only strength. Well, I got news for you and her. I'm one of the most emotional people I know and I'm still strong as an ox. I sat down with Nate this evening and had a short but stern talk with him. In no uncertain terms I told him that I'm the boss. Period. I told him what I expect from him and I told him what the consequences are if he does not comply and that regardless of how he thought he could outwit, out-talk, out-think, or out-manuever me that, I wrote the book. I'm tough and I'm stubborn and he does not want to go up against me. I said, "You are one smart little boy." And he asked, "Smarter than you Mommy?" I laughed and I said, "Son, I'll always have 25 years of life experience over you. Don't ever forget it." He got a sort of, "Oh shit, the gig is up" look on his face. When I told him that I had talked to his daddy and compared his behavior there to his behavior here, he at least had the good grace to look a bit guilty. Just goes to show that he knew all along and was just waiting for Mommy to get with the program and in a very succinct motion, put her damn foot down... hard. I guess he'll get me trained someday.