My History as a Writer: Part Deux

Before I moved away from home, I hadn’t written a lot, at least I can’t recall if I did. When I got pregnant with Nate, I tried to write, especially about being pregnant, so I could remember and have something for him. I’ve written before about what a painful time in my life that was. The pain continued for quite some time after Nate’s birth. To write, I would have had to see it. To write, I would have had to feel it. To write, I would have had to face it. So I didn’t write. I can’t recall exactly when I stopped. I can’t recall exactly when I started back. I’ll give a good guess and say it was from the end of 1994 to the end of 1997. I probably started with angry letters that I never sent and moved on to poetry. I re-worked some of my older poems but I wasn’t overflowing with ideas. For the next three years I dabbled but didn’t produce anything other than one poem that I would actually let anyone read. I was still stifled. After I met Holland (the drunk), and became entangled in that fiasco, I finally turned back to writing as a release and wrote a lot of poetry, including “Sanctuary,” which I linked back on the “Viva Viggo” post. This was also the time period I was contemplating a few short stories, novellas, and novels - just contemplating. After Holland left in 2002, and I found out AZ had his post office box back to himself, I asked him if I could write to him, like I had many eons ago and he said, “Sure.” *Loud, evil, wicked laughter.* The flood gates opened and the words came out. Many, many words. Each letter was of epic proportions... 15-20-30 pages a piece... sometimes one every other month, one a month, sometimes two or three a month, for about a year and a half. I would mail one and begin another. AZ was my blog... just a private one and one that once the words left, they didn’t get discussed or at least rarely. Looking back, I think that was best. It got me to where I needed to be, and that was dating Lex. Six months later, it got me again to where I needed to be, right here with you. During the time period between 2002 and when I began blogging, I wrote a great deal creatively as well. I finished several short stories, biographical profiles, essays, two novellas, and a lot of poetry. I submitted stories to writing contests and magazines, and even my novella to a publisher. It was discouraging that I wasn't published but it was also encouraging because of the personal positive feedback I received from a few magazine editors and the editor of the publishing house. Just like when the teacher called me to her desk in 1983 and encouraged me to continue writing, it meant as much 20 years later. I didn’t do much creatively, aside from blogging, last year. I was too busy peeling the onion and that takes up a lot of time and energy. But not now. I look at my notes and my research and what I have written so far, and realize... I have two novels, two novellas, two screenplays, and three magazine articles in the works. Its like they’re on a giant CD changer, and every so often that CD changer rotates and whatever comes up is what I work on. The CD changer has landed on “magazine articles” for right now. I have finished one, another is one or two paragraphs from being completed and the last is written in my head and just needs put on paper. I find I work best when I rotate around like that. I can’t imagine going for such a long period of time again and not writing anything... nada, nothing. I’ve learned I’m much happier when I write. It doesn’t matter if I ever sell an article or a novel or anything else. I’m still a writer. I’ll always be a writer.