Wednesday, June 09, 2004

Life takes interesting twists and turns. I went back to Point Pleasant after being snubbed by the beaufriend, which is fine, everyone needs their sleep. It was okay, took one of my friends with me. One that will listen to me whine and bitch about the beaufriend. One that won't let me get too discouraged, jaded and cynical about love. Otherwise, I have no choice but to be wary of marriage in general. I have watched the demise of too many of my friend's marriages. The latest victims are J.A. and her husband. There is nothing I hate more than to sit with a friend while they lament about the state of their union to the point where I'm almost certain for them separation, at a minimum, is inevitable. The culprit -- money. J.A. and her hubby make a little less than I do, each. Their bills are comparable to mine for the most part except they have one more adult in the household. They use my washer and dryer because the water backs up in the washer and the dryer is on the fritz. J.A. is using a car that will no longer be legal at the end of this month and won't pass inspection. Her other vehicle is broken down. The one that does run now has a flat tire. She refused my "fix-a-flat." J.A. is unhappy because she had $21 left from her last paycheck, and $16 from this one. She gets paid once a week. She gives $200 a week to her hubby and pays bills herself. You know as well as I that $20 won't give you a full tank of gas. Hubby spends about $1000 a month at the grocery store. They probably have 14 bottles of ketchup in the fridge because he buys a new one everytime he goes. He spends about $50 a day on groceries. I spent that for a week of groceries for me and Hyper-boy. She tried talking to hubby...he won't take her suggestions. I didn't want to tell her my suggestion, which was, my way or the highway buddy! So, I didn't. The only advice I gave was, Put your foot down and keep it down. I would boot his ass. I've lived without mate for too long. I try to remember this is her marriage, not just living together, a marriage. They have a child. I know there are two sides to every story but being privileged, an insider, I have two eyes, I can see. I know she is right. She feels controlled by poverty when there should be none. She realizes things should be much, much better. Frankly, they should. I've finally got my own finances balanced as much as possible and I'm praying I have the fortitude to keep them there. But, if I can have a little left over and I'm one...I see her point. She admitted...only she can change it. She's a Scorpio so change normally happens at the end of a long inner battle and the fallout is intense. There are no reinforcements to call in. It is what it is. On a better note, the beaufriend actually showed up to meet with me and a couple of friends, just for a few minutes but hey, progress not perfection!
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