Tuesday, August 24, 2004

Legolas, what do your elf eyes see?

1. A bumper sticker that said, "Keep Music Evil." 2. A picture of Karl Urban on Sloth's blog that she said looked a lot like Dastard. 3. Two bike cops, one who I saw in my side mirror as he pulled me over for an expired inspection sticker. As for keeping music evil... Okay!! I love elves. Legolas, Elrond, Haldir... its something about the hair in braids, the young faces, sleeping on their feet, keen eyesight and hearing. Not to mention what Orlando Bloom, Hugo Weaving and Craig Parker can do for braids and bows, the arrow kind, not the kind you wear in braids. Mmmmm... and who can forget Legolas drawing his bow in 1/2 a second to defend Gimli... swooon. Or Haldir marching into Helms Deep. Yes!! The calvary is here and ohhhh, the calvary looks GOOD!! (Although I have to say my absolute favorite part of the trilogy is when Strider/Aragorn is in the Prancing Pony when he's smoking his pipe and it lights up his eyes... OH. MY. GOD!) However, the Riders of Rohan were not bad either and what Karl Urban did for fluffy helmets and chain mail... hee hee... gotta love it. I especially love the part where he pushes Grima against the stones and gets in his face... oh, me! Me! Get in my face... I'll smooch ya!! And of course to think that Dastard looks anything like him just makes my crog worse (crog = blog + crush). But not to worry Leese, I haven't decided to change teams yet... that is until I see Dastard in a fluffy helmet and chain mail, then I might change my mind. Now, the bike cops... mmmm.... it was well worth it to have that sexy, muscular, blue-eyed hunk ask for my driver's license and practically get directions to my house. Meooooow... My main reason to break the law is to have sexy cops pull me over. Those in the town next to mine are delightfully delicious. I was with T-Bird's mom when she got pulled over and I had to wipe my mouth. Oh, he was hot, hot, hot. You might think after what I described two posts back that I would be afraid or just not like cops too well. I didn't for a long while. Then I had to do my internship with a police department and actually ride around in a car with them for 9-16 hours. That's how I met Nate's dad. I realize that not all cops are bad seeds. I don't stay on my guard with them any more than I do other men I do and don't know. I listen to my gut and remove myself from situations now that make me feel the least little bit uncomfortable, cops or not. Half the guys I graduated with are now cops and I know quite a few from this area. And they're all hunks, except for a few who need a serious diet. So, if I have to get pulled over, then bike cops and State Troopers looking for drugs are the way to go. I'm not carrying drugs so I don't mind looking at those State Troopers in their drug gear, the black, tight-fitting, multi-pocketed ones that show off their asses a hell of a lot better than polyester ever did. And when Jack talked about pressing that Sig Sauer into that druggies neck... wow! As long as he's pressing his lips into my neck and not a gun... hell yeah. This is always a rough time for me, when the moon moves through Scorpio and then through Sagittarius as I was born on the cusp and have to endure such heightened emotions, especially sexual ones. I almost did the Bald UPS guy in his truck today. Awww hell, we didn't even kiss, what am I talking about (although I did think about it... really hard). He did insinuate I was a cocktease though. Excuuuuse me?? Cocktease? Buddy, you don't know what cocktease is until you've been in MY mouth. Plus, I always finish what I start and if I don't plan on finishing it then I don't start it. We're supposed to have lunch again next week before he goes out of town for some golf trip. I plan on being upfront about where I see this going. I hope he gives me an honest answer about what he wants. Honestly, I can see myself laying him but not having a full blown relationship. Is that bad of me? While we were talking today he something about being sweet, he seemed to think I should be sweeter... hmmm... anyway, I had the overwhelming feeling he was discussing a different kind of sweet and would love to dine at my Y. Matter of fact, I got a visual and he glanced at my groin. Sigh... so much to dream about tonight. Tolkien elves and horselords... Dastard... cops and handcuffs... the UPS guy. Just call me the Tolkienesque Blogger Crogger Brown Badge Bunny. I love men (and I love everything about 'em... the way they look... the way they smell... the way they feel...) <-- lyrics taken from Live in the Raw by WASP... keep music EVIL!! And sexual too.
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    Blogger ... said...

    nice to read something that has some humanity, some depth.


    8/24/2004 07:27:00 PM  
    Blogger Michael said...

    You lost me on the Tolkien stuff, but evil music is good. "good" music is evil.

    8/24/2004 08:38:00 PM  
    Blogger Zelda said...

    Yeehaw! The Riders of Rohan definitely did it for me. And Legolas. And Gimli.

    Yeah. Men are cool.

    8/24/2004 08:55:00 PM  
    Blogger Cattiva said...

    "Crog" - BRILLIANT!!

    As always a great post Inanna. So do you have to pay a fine for the inspection sticker or did he get you...uh let you off? ;)

    8/24/2004 09:00:00 PM  
    Blogger Tsarina said...

    Girl, you need a long, cold shower- get the handheld shower head, and you'll be fine!!!!!

    8/24/2004 10:01:00 PM  
    Blogger Traci Dolan said...

    Hiya Munkees – Humanity and depth? In THIS post? I hope you were talking about the rest of my blog... this post was just fun. Or were you just being facetious? I’ll check you out.

    Michael – Rock on brother!

    Zelda – Damn straight YEEHAW!! I love a man on horseback or on his back... either way.

    Catt – I shamelessly stole that from Regan when she told Dastard she had a blog crush on him - crog. Naww... he gave me a ticket but as long as I get it inspected by the end of next month I don’t have to pay a fine.

    Tsarina – a hand-held shower head... mmmmmmmmmm

    8/25/2004 02:23:00 AM  
    Blogger Celti said...

    Inanna, this post made me feel all wiggly inside! Legolas...humana humana! WOW, he was hot in those movies. Olrlando is hot any time, but WOW. The rest of them were no chopped liver, but Legolas certainly held my attention.

    Tolkien elves and horselords... Dastard... cops and handcuffs... OH MY!

    tee hee

    8/25/2004 12:36:00 PM  
    Blogger The Dave said...

    Dude, that was a lot information on the elfin, funny cuz I just watched return of the king the other day....also, way too much info on oversized enforcers of the law... but, I read somewhere that anything goes.

    8/25/2004 03:00:00 PM  
    Blogger Traci Dolan said...

    Celti -- Serious humana, humana... Oh My, Oh My!!

    Dave -- Don't ya just love what you might find when Anything Goes??

    8/25/2004 03:07:00 PM  
    Blogger Me said...

    Ah, my beloved word 'crog' has since taken on a new meaning. What I refer to as the crog is the poofcha area di-rectly below the bellybutton. Alas, things change...

    And, as always, another great post, Inanna... though I'd tell the UPS guy to bugger off.

    8/25/2004 05:10:00 PM  

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