Vulnerability

I had a funny post somewhat ready for today but something has been on my mind. Its this. This is an article about violence against pregnant women. The article was written in response to the murder of Bobbie Jo Stinnett. I first got wind of her murder when her daughter popped up on the Amber Alert. When I saw "premature baby," I thought, "now who in the hell lets a premature baby out of their sight?" If you don’t know, Mrs. Stinnett, eight months pregnant, was strangled to death and her daughter CUT FROM HER WOMB. What ever that little girl is made of, it must be some tough stuff. A study in the above referenced article states that the leading cause of death for pregnant and postpartum (up to 6-8 weeks after birth) women is not hemorrhage or stroke, its homicide. HOMICIDE. HOM-I-CIDE. More often than not its at the hands of someone they know. The husband, the boyfriend, the ex, the ex’s wife or new girlfriend. Rarely is it an act of random violence. Mrs. Stinnett knew the woman who attacked her because they had corresponded over the Internet about the Murderer buying a dog. The same damn medium where we have met. Where I welcome you into my home and my workplace. Where I arrive unannounced and silent in your den, living room, bedroom, or office. Frightening isn’t it? Some of you know my real name, my address, and my phone numbers and I, the same about you. Scared yet? (Anytime we hear about Internet "relationships" gone bad, I know this goes through my head.) There is nothing more vulnerable than being pregnant. Nothing. Especially in the last trimester. You’re off balance, heavy, and tired. You’re not agile and any heavy exertion in the last three months will likely rock you back on your heels in pain. The ligaments in your groin and stomach are tender and stretched. Its not a likely time to want to be fending off an attack. You’re only thought would be about your baby. The Mama Bear response takes over and nothing else matters but that child living. The article bothered me. I’ve written before, a while back, that one of my clients was pregnant and murdered execution style when she was eight months pregnant. She owed the wrong people money. Her son went to pre-school with Nate. My co-worker and I went to the funeral to speak to her mother, who we also knew. The casket was open. At first I wondered why they had a baby doll in there with her and then realized, it was her daughter. She was so perfect, so beautiful. She looked just like a porcelain doll. Unlike her mother, she showed no signs of the trauma which had taken her life. Seeing her in that casket had to be one of the most extreme moments of my life. I will never forget it. (Lacy Peterson never even got that chance... even in death she was denied the right to hold her child - sorta paraphrased from the Scott Peterson trial and how true.) Even before that, maybe a year or two, but after I had Nate, I went to work at the accounting job I had for a big textile corporation. The parking garage was full of police cars. A woman, eight months pregnant, was attacked. She handed over the keys to her vehicle. But that wasn’t enough for him. He decided he would shove her down the concrete steps in the stairwell and that’s where she was found. She survived and so did the baby. A boy. She has some neurological deficits due to the head injury she sustained. This happened the day after my friend, Nay, had her baby so as I was visiting her, I had an opportunity to look through the nursery windows to see the baby. He was the only one without a name tag attached to the basinet and you could tell he was a C-Section baby because of his beautiful round head. They caught the asshole and he’s now a guest at one of the fine correctional facilities here. Fucker. Perhaps within the past two years, I read a newspaper account of a murder either in WV or in MD, but very close the border of the two states. The wife of a philandering husband caught his lover out with her two week old daughter and shot them both. She shot A TWO WEEK OLD BABY! Sometimes I thought, "That could have been me." Sperm donor threatened to send me down a flight of steps and he was married. Luckily, he didn’t and his ex is not prone to violence. (Frankly, she was glad to be rid of him.) I don’t really have much else to say. I just keep wondering where our humanity went and how civilized we really are.