Thursday, January 06, 2005

Inanna's Best of Blogger - Part Tres (Philosophical Thursday)

I was too busy chatting last night to blog. Yep, I was chatting with bloggers. I'm on Yahoo and AIM so if anyone wants to add me or have me add them, e-mail me and we'll exchange screen names. Nate and I went out to pass a ball last night. Its just unseasonably warm here. It was 65 last night. Obscene and makes me worry about what's going to happen later. We always get hit later. I have instructed Pup to get rid of the bad weather up there so I can make it for the Kansas City trip. Passing the ball actually helped my shoulder a bit but made my cramps worse. Go figure. I was sitting on the bed with Nate cutting out quilt pieces while he read the game book on "The Incredibles." He suddenly looked up and said, "Mommy, you have got to see "The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air," it is soooo funny!" I looked over and smiled. I said, "Dude, that was on TV when I was younger. You're watching re-runs." He cocked his head and asked, "Wow, was it in color?" Wha, wha, whaaaaa... I never realized how much faith I had until another blogger started asking me questions about how I deal with loss and pain in my life. It was hard for me to answer her questions about my beliefs because they're so ingrained that I can think of no other way to be and therefore do not consciously think of them and explaining them is even more difficult. I think the main question though, is how I deal with not having a significant other in my life. I'll admit that I get lonely. But I've been lonelier in shitty relationships than I have being by myself. I won't say I've reached a Zen spot but I can say that I'm more comfortable about who I am and what I want in my relationships. I feel if I put myself out there more I would have a much greater opportunity to meet people. We are only limited by ourselves and everything else is an excuse. And, I never give up. Perhaps its my personality, mixed with a undying belief that people get what's coming to them eventually, whether good or bad. I never give up. I almost gave up once and I swore I would never allow myself to get that low again. I'm like Jason and Freddy and Michael. I just keep coming back and coming back. I'm just much prettier and nicer than they are. But I can channel them when I have to. I don't like to have to but I will. I will not be run over, I will not be run down, I will not allow others to define my worth. Plus, if we could look inside of some of the idyllic lives that we treasure from afar... trust me... they are neither idyllic nor a treasure. Whatever they show to the outside, like all of us, there is that much more on the inside. Speaking of Michael... his leaving has left a huge hole in me. I miss him. I try not to go by his place to see if he is around or has been by, but I do. I have to tell you guys about this client I have. She and her husband were involved in a car accident, in which the driver of their vehicle had popped a Soma before attempting to drive them to work. This Einstein decides to attempt to pass two vehicles on a double yellow on one of the most dangerous roads in WV, if not the US. Wayne Concrete of Barboursville, WV has been hammering hard to remove a 700' long, 100' high rock cliff along State Route 10 in Logan County. According to Bud Daniels, President of Wayne Concrete, this has been a problem spot for the past 80 years–at most, the width of the road at this dangerous point is a lane and a half. I was on this road before they removed the cliff... terrifying. Anyway, said Einstein loses control and flips the truck five or six times. This lady settles with the insurance company immediately but her husband hires us. Sissy goes out to sign this folks up. She said they lived on a muddy hill in a trailer so old it must have been built when God was a boy, coon hounds baying... you get the point. Yet inside they have two computers, a DVD player, surround sound, plasma TV... again, you get the point. Druggity-drug-drug dealers. About six weeks later the hubby dies of a drug overdose and she's about two breaths away from one herself. Here's the interesting part... she says someone broke into their home and injected methamphetamine into their heels and that's what killed him and almost her. Yeah. Right. When you talk to her on the phone, you are timed and then we make it a game to see how many times she repeats herself and how many times we have to tell her how there is a cap of 20K. That's all. Nothing more. Sue for the assets of the guy who was driving? Yeah. Right. His totaled pickup truck and the cash value of his meth? Yeah. Right. And if you don't think I know what you tweakers were doing all hanging out together in your Holler Mansion, guess again. I read Jack and Jack knows. And please, don't tell me how much you miss your husband and how your whole life is ruined, and your kid's life is ruined (not his kid)and how you'll never recover from this as your newest boy toy turns over in bed to hand you the phone. Welcome to my world. I'm afraid you may be somewhat disappointed with today's Best of Blogger. Its just one person. One person who I feel is in a class all by themselves. I'm talking about Rita from Diary-A. Rita's life story (Parts 1-59) are currently posted but she's had to take a hiatus because her dad is very, very ill. Rita has a voice that is fresh and honest. Brutally honest, even about herself. Her life story makes mine look like I was raised with a silver spoon in my mouth and still have it there. She's an incredible writer. Yes, she does it for a living but we all know that writing about our lives is a little different. Rita is beyond words. I could say so much, but it would never, ever be enough. You will not be sorry if you take the time to read her archives. Much love Bloggies!!
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