Friday, February 18, 2005

Please Pause For The Following Station Break

Its all about me today. I love my son but today... its about me. Its not about Mom... Mom fell asleep two or three hours ago. Its just me, the Peachy Goodness now. The Nannerlicious... I want laid. But I know I’m not gonna get laid. Why? Well, I’m not really looking to repeat previous mistakes and I’m too dang tired to get dressed up and go out lookin’ for some strange. Besides, strange can become your worst fucking nightmare and I don’t need any more nightmares. Relationship wise... ummmm... yeah... Well. Its difficult realizing that you’re not as compatible as you once thought. I’ll leave it at that. I did have something happen that brought a smile to my face today. A big smile. A big goofy smile. A blushy, goofy smile. Huh? What was it? Nah... not tellin’. One of those things it takes forever to put in your diary. Like a small jar of sunshine you carry with you in the darkness of life. You see it. You guard it jealously. You hide it. Its yours and you’re not sharing! Its mine! Hands. Off. Back to that laid thing. I’m actually quite exhausted. Mentally exhausted. A totally different feeling than being physically exhausted. I find myself feeling romantic. You know, long, drawn out, slow, sensual sex instead of the BANG ME BABY!! sex. This doesn’t happen very often. Shame to waste it. That should say something about how mentally fatigued I am... my brain is actually slugging along so slow... I want slow sex. I think I like the harder, faster sex because I’m so impatient! Must be why being blindfolded, tied up and tied down is so exciting... irritating... frustrating... enticing. Someone making me slow down and wait............................. Huh? Sorry, lost in my thoughts. Thinking of the weight of silence. When you can’t see them. Reach out to them. Can’t hear them. But you feel them. When hot breath on the back of your neck can make every muscle tremble... with desire. When the sound that breaks the silence is your own quivering breath. One finger traced down your spine.............. Ahem. One can dream.
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