Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Pensive

I was going to write about my weird day, and I still will... right after I fulfill my duties as PimpMistress and present my cousin... PC. Please, stop drooling on your computer screen. It drips into the keyboard and gets gooey. You might short circuit yourself as well. PC is 33, will be 34 in October. He’s got a good job, he’s not a lush or a ladies man, but he’s not exactly the “boy next door” either. Divorced, no children, but Nate gives his 100%, A-1 seal of approval for coolness factor. Nate rarely asks to go anywhere to see anyone but he asks to go to PC’s... might be that XBOX though... I happen to think he’s pretty cool too. PC can be reached at kcwvsp@yahoo.com. *Steps aside to allow stampede to pass* Ahem... now that I’ve done my duty as PimpMistress, we shall now return to the important things... like me. Gentlemen and married women, since all the single ladies went to e-mail PC, its just us, so settle back and drink a beer, belch and fart all you like. No one will be offended. Someone is trying to get my attention... again... or maybe someone is just dropping by to say hello. Three things: 1) On the way to work this morning, after stopping at McDonalds to get Nate his McGriddles fix, we were going down the highway listening to the radio when the station got fuzzy. I looked down and the station had changed BY ITSELF! It had gone from 100.9 to 101.5. Talk about white noise. 2) I was working the front desk today at lunchtime. I was reading and heard the intercom buzz. Either you hit our intercom button once and it rings the desk of the person you want or you hit it twice and it opens the voice system. The phone shows you who is calling or their extension. It was one of our two partners but I knew he was out of the office at lunch so I figured his paralegal was buzzing me for something. Yet, when I picked up the phone, it just continued to ring... as though I was the one who had made the call and no one was answering. 3) When I went to get my lunch today (jalapeno poppers), they didn’t have any!!! But, they offered potato skins because I’m special. They charged me $2.85. I had exactly $2.85 in my pocket. Not a penny more, not a penny less. In the Harry Potter books, we were introduced to the Pensive. The Pensive (for you Non Harry Potter Freaks) is a place where Dumbledore puts his thoughts so they don’t clog up his mind. I would like one... except, like a blog, anyone can read your thoughts if you put them out there. I’ve had a lot on my mind today about three men: Red, AZ, and il mio amore. AZ is a no brainer since he and one of the partner’s in my firm have the same name AND it was the name that came up on the display in #2 above. Perhaps I should call him. Il mio amore is also a no-brainer, I think of him all the time. He’s just been on my mind more than usual in a different way. Now Red... I don’t understand. I haven’t seen him or spoke to him since November. Today though, he rode around like a pensive spirit on my shoulder. I didn’t really much think about our hot encounter either. I didn’t really realize how hot it was until I re-read my own shizznet. Ya’ll didn’t need to know all of that!!! Anyway, it wasn’t about that. It was just about Red. Who he is and how different he is. I realized while planting my flowers... I missed him. I miss AZ. I miss il mio amore. I miss them because they’re my friends. I don’t have a lot of friends around here. T-Bird (off and on), Kate, PC... sometimes JA (that’s Hagar the Horrible’s wife), Beanie. But the three men who have been on my mind today, they’re the ones that I connect with... somehow in a deeper way. It has nothing to do with sex or love or anything physical. It has to do with how they draw me into themselves and protect me emotionally. Its not that I don’t connect with my other friends in that way, I think that’s part of friendship, its just not that way. I know you understand cause ya’ll are good that way. Maybe it does have something to do with love or security or laughter or understanding or honesty or compassion or empathy or trust or that something that we can never put our finger on and can never name. Maybe that spirit just wanted to say hi, maybe its here to give me a message... maybe it just missed me.
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