Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Nanner Peach Taffy Pulling

Facing the job market and my options inside that market has been a daunting task in the past few weeks. I’m being pulled in several different directions and options and how I can combine options to support myself and Nate. Realistically, I’m stuck between what I want to do versus what I have to do to survive. Even doing what I have to do to survive is putting me in a dangerous predicament for the coming year. Luckily, I have a college education which may assist me in upping the ante, but even that will probably have little impact on the pay scale. That’s the reality of living here. Most jobs in my field pay $10,000 less than what I make now. I’m applying for a position with the State Medical Examiner’s Office and I have a lead on a contract position for another attorney while his assistant is out with breast cancer. That’s exactly what its going to boil down to. Two jobs. My bosses and I are exploring several options as well regarding unemployment supplementation, I’ve thought of buying a transcribing machine so I can do tapes at home and pick up work that way as well. Then there’s my writing, which could break through at any moment and further supplement my income. The internal conflict at moving away from being a paralegal truly sucks. I’m pretty certain I could wiggle in to a big firm with closer pay to what I’m making now. The problem with that is, I would rather work for the Medical Examiner’s office. I’m in constant pain from my jaw. I’m tired of greedy, grouchy, idiot clients, which far outweigh the intelligent, fair-minded ones. I’m tired of sitting in my office doing the same thing, day after day. I’m sure at some point I may become equally tired of investigating deaths for the ME’s office and I’m realistic about what I’m going to see there. Just to give myself a jolt of reality there, I did something I swore I would never do. I looked at the autopsy photographs released of Jon Benet Ramsey. Folks, I could tell from the photographs that whoever did that to her, hated her with an intense passion. It made me sad and angry and it turned my stomach, which means, I’m still human in here somewhere. I may not end up at the ME’s office. Right now, I don’t know where I’m going to end up. Wherever it is, I don’t foresee getting a lot of sleep in the new year.
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