F*(& Damnit F*(&

I now know Sensei Smiley’s and Sensei Blondie’s real names. First and last. I went to the tournament this weekend. I was talking to one of the other Sensei’s (he runs a dojo in a neighboring city), we were talking because we used to be in search and rescue together, and Sensei Smiley was officiating (looking all hot in his suit... meow), and they were hollering at the Sensei I was talking to because they needed him to help officiate. And there was the reason I call him Sensei Smiley. He was smiling and laughing at the other Sensei since he was too busy talking to me to realize they needed him. Actually, the other Sensei and I almost disgraced ourselves by laughing our asses off at some search and rescue remembrances. No, I’m not interested in him. Later, I caught Sensei Smiley’s eye and smiled at him. He looked away rather quickly. I’m not sure if it was an “Oh God, she caught me looking at her,” or an “Oh God, she’s looking at me. Help!” I didn’t really have a reason to hang around after everything was over, although I lingered as long as possible. I didn’t get to see him again. Fu*(&! Coming home from Jeff’s this evening, I was trying to tell Nate all of the Senseis’ names so he could remember them, because I didn’t think he even knew any of their names, and I said, “And then there’s Sensei Smiley,” and he cut me off and said, “Oh, I know him, he’s my FAVORITE!” I said, “Yeah, buddy, me too.” *smirk* Sensei Smiley was rubbing his shoulder at the end of the tournament. I know he had a shoulder injury that prevented him from teaching for a while and I thought, maybe that’s my in. I could pop up out of my seat, introduce myself, and ask about his shoulder, maybe recommend a massage oil I could slather all over his body for his shoulder. So? Is that a good idea? Ya’ll, I need some serious help here. I keep thinking, “What if... he’s married... has a girlfriend... isn’t interested....” then I make a fool out of myself? Then I think, “What if he’s thinking the same thing?” Beanie said, “Ask him out for coffee!! Don’t wait on him to ask you!” I said, “What if he says no?” She said, “What if he says yes?” F*(& Damnit F*(&!