Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Revenge of the Empaths

As I mentioned, my ex Lex and I saw "Good Night and Good Luck" on Saturday evening. This was his idea. I just want to make that clear. Not that I object to spending time with Lex, mainly because he’s intelligent, thoughtful, articulate, informed, and an empath. We had another meeting, not date, please, set up but it ended up not happening. Lex is going to graduate school too (Masters in Business with a sub-specialty in International Business or something like that) and he was very supportive, to the point of rabidity, when I said I wanted to go to graduate school. I cannot recall how long it has been since we’ve actually seen one another, in the flesh. He called and arranged to meet me further down the valley, since he was just getting off work and had to run a few errands. He sounded fine. I pulled up at the appointed place, where he was taking up two car spaces, which I kidded him about. He seemed fine. I can’t say I looked particularly hot, since he had given me exactly 30 minutes to get ready, including a shower, once I scooted Nate out the door to his sister’s, but I didn’t look too shabby either. Yet, once I got in the car, he didn’t look at me, not even a glance. Didn’t reach over to hug me, which was odd. Ahhh, empath meets empath. He was shut down tighter than Jimmy Hoffa under cement. Not that he ignored me or conversation didn’t flow, but it was that emotional withdrawal that confused me. I finally cornered him for a hug at the theater. While we waited for the movie to start, sans all but one trailer, we continued our dissection of everything but a frog. I’m not sure how the subject came up but he said, "The thought of a relationship right now just drains me. Whatever energy I have, three quarters of it is just immediately gone with the thought of a relationship." I looked over at him, even though he still wasn’t looking at me, and said, "Yeah, I feel like a relationship at this point is just one more responsibility I don’t have time for." Cue movie. His resolve melted just a bit during the movie as I snuggled up against him because I was cold. He wrapped his coat around me, which was helpful since the movie was awesome and I didn’t need the distraction. Afterwards, we went out to the car where I stood outside on the sidewalk shaking my butt, asking him for a ride with my thumb stuck out. He laughed and actually looked at me. Wow. We talked about the movie and my multiple thesis ideas, stopped for gas, took a quick tour of the city to see the new sites in the area, and headed back to our county. As we pulled up to the parking area, he said we should do this more often or again, or something similar. I said I had had a good time and thanks for the movie, popcorn, etc. (Yeah, he paid for everything! Except I kicked in a few bucks to help with the popcorn, and yes, I offered to pay for my movie. Funny thing is, when we were actually seeing each other, we never did this. Weird.) He is sitting with his face turned completely away from me. I’m like, WTF??? I reached over, turned his face, and kissed him on the cheek. Well, 3/4ths cheek, 1/4th lips, which was his fault, not mine. I got out, waved, and he was gone like the wind. I’m not really sure what to think. I just think he’s forgotten that no matter how much he shuts the door to his feelings in my presence, that door stands wide open other times, and if he thinks he’s hiding anything from me, he’s got another thing coming. I just have to remember, that goes both ways. Grrrrrr....
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