Monday, May 08, 2006

Mass Tequila

Where do you start talking about one of the best weekends of recent memory? Okay, of far reaching memory? Let’s start with my flight. Uneventful, except it was hotter than hell, preparation for Texas I suppose. Found Travis first, who looked at me strange, as though he was trying to determine who I was. Guess I solved that dilemma when I squealed, enveloped him in a Peach Hug, danced around a bit, and started talking a mile a minute and squealing some more. Then I saw Brighton and Bear and I started squealing again. Then we took a nice long trip, scenery wasn’t great, unless you count the four of us, and then we found the car. Took another long and winding trip, also not great scenery, but then we found the cashier to actually get us out of the parking garage at Interfuckedupcontinental. Travis inadvertently put the ticket in the machine which means he had to pay by credit card. A whole fucking dollar. (This is important later, there will be a test.) Then we took another long trip but finally landed back at Casa Brighton and as the Peach is always hungry (and ate her body weight in steak this weekend), decided to wait as Kristin would be there within an hour or so. Twas not to be as Kristin and Hubby had to deal with some damaging hail from the night before and Kristin decided to drive in early Saturday morning. Off to Mom Alone’s we went, with Bear, who is absolutely the best little feller, not to mention he at least attempted to keep Nanner on the straight and narrow. It’s okay Bear, many have failed before you. Had my first margarita, MANGO! Great food and just hanging out. Then it was off to see Brighton’s new digs. Spacious and sunny. Back to Interfuckedupcontinental to pick up Jeanette (after a nice nap!). Travis was determined not to feed his parking ticket to the machine again but immediately drove into the lane marked, "Credit Card Payment Only" which I nicely pointed out to him before the parking Nazis made him pay with his credit card again. This precipitated the "Tank Ou" and "Twelcome" interaction described over at Brighton’s. Then off to eat, AGAIN. I swear I gained 10 lbs. on Friday alone. Another margarita. Was that one peach? Regular? I don’t remember. In between I talked to my sister and Zelda. To bed, late, but what heaven it was, sleeping in Sara’s beautiful bed, under the glorious air conditioning vent (this will be important later, there will be a test). Rolled over, opened one eye, and promptly went back to sleep when a thunderstorm hit. Obviously, even after four hours of sleep, Jeanette was lucid enough to enjoy nature’s fury. And Nanner, yeah, I slept through it. Up and at it for Travis’s pancakes. YUM!!! He makes bacon the best way. Then we hemmed and hawed around talking to my sister, checking on Kristin and decided to carry on to the Boardwalk in Kemah. My sister, brother-in-law, and nephews came up from the ‘burbs and I got to enjoy some of my favorite people in the world in one spot. Jeanette rode a huge cock, and had a rather phallic ride to the top of the somethingaruther. Kristin and Travis came later. Lemme tell ya, there is no one who can get macked out like Kristin. If I thought I could look half as good with twice the effort, I would get macked out more often. There isn’t enough Aquanet on the planet to make my hair look that good. So, then we ate again and I had another margarita. Peach, I think. I know at some point I had a peach margarita. It’s just all a little fuzzy. We said goodbye to my sister and family and Travis who had to get ready for work and we four ladies took off for a drive-by of Galveston and then a race home to get ready for Blogmeet. Four ladies getting macked out in the same house. It was a sight to behold. Brighton helped me get my hair ironed out and loaned me a bit of make up and Kristin contributed lip gloss cuz you know the Nanner doesn’t get macked out very often. Ran into (Not So) Tinyhands first, who had the same deer in the headlights look as Travis did when I started squealing and hugging. The tables were set up and so we waited. I started drinking. I drank a lot of tequila, one shot of 1800 and then Patron all the way. Zelda and Jethro showed up, which pretty much made my night complete although I didn’t get to talk to Zelda much due to our respective places at the table, I did auction off my beaded ring to her. Hee hee!!! Then several margaritas, shots, and another steak later, Nanner started drunk dialing. First was Celti, who I actually called Celti to her husband instead of her real name. I was still somewhat coherent and sober at that time. Okay, maybe not sober, but at least coherent. Then, it was Lois Lane in the hot spot. Then MakeMineMike, who was not available so I left a message and then AZ, who was also not available, but who I promised I would drunk dial. AZ called back first and we chit chatted. He told me to have a marvelous time, which I already was. The Patron kept flowing, or rather, I kept telling them "just one more." So, four shots and four margaritas later, Mikey called back and went on the infamous toilet trip. Nanner is classy, isn’t she? Of course, our conversation started out with me loudly proclaiming a la Brighton on wine, "I AM DRUNK!" and then dissolving in giggles so ferocious I had to give the phone to Brighton herself. Five shots and five margaritas later, Jethro decided that I may need a sobriety test, although I wasn’t going anywhere near the driver’s seat of car. Funny what you can get drunk people to do. Like, a field sobriety test which I solemnly swear I could have almost passed had it not been for that drunken pirouette. Then for some reason everyone wanted to take pictures and say good-bye. Damnit! Zelda and Jethro followed us, us being, (Not So)tinyhands and myself in TH’s Miata convertible. I’m not sure what I did but obviously did not arouse too much suspicion or people just realized, "Damn, she’s drunk!" But, sadly, Z. And J. had to head home because they couldn’t reach Z.’s sister who was sitting with Emma who was sick. Okay, I bawled. *sniff* Then it was on over to the cluttered Boom Boom Room and a short but sweet pole dancing demo by Brighton in those heels. My Gawd! She’s got mad skillz, ya’ll! Back to Brighton’s, drunk dialed AZ one more time, left a message about INFP’s and ESTJ’s or something like that and then I passed out in Brighton’s bed with bras and panties hanging on the ceiling fan. At some point, Travis came home to find me snoring the roof off the house, poor guy, he had to go sleep in Bear’s room. However, I awoke at 9 minutes after 6, and I was hot and I had to pee. Naturally. And I didn’t feel so good. Nanner doesn’t do well when intoximicated and hot. I paced the hallway before noticing the thermostat on the wall. An electronic one, which if I put my nose up to it, my blind eyes could see the little arrow pointing down, which I pushed, quite a few times. (Sorry if ya’ll freezin’ now B.!) Then I hightailed back to Sara’s room to lay under the aforementioned air conditioning vent. Nanner was happy and promptly fell back asleep while everyone else started shivering. At some point, I ended up back in Brighton’s bed with her and Jeanette and then Travis came in because Bear’s room was too bright and we all sat and chatted and dozed. More food. Mad dash to the airport, mad dash to the gate. I’m home. I miss ya’ll.
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