Saturday, August 05, 2006

I Dare You To Tell Me To Walk Through Fire!

You know... that little voice in your head, I don’t know, maybe you’re lucky and don’t have one, but if you do happen to have one, do you ever want to take it out and beat it to death? I do. Tonight, I really fucking do. Really, really want to. Why? Why, when I’m down and pissed and bitter and angry and I want to give up, does that little voice say, “Don’t give up.” And why doesn’t she ever shut up? I can piss and moan and have 100 things going on at the same time. I can rant and rave and cry, I can ARGUE with the voice, and still, that same calm voice says, “Don’t give up.” I know who it is. I’ve seen her. She’s beautiful. She’s THE numero uno spirit guide. The grand poobah. What she says, goes. I aspire to be her someday. Sometimes my voices, they argue with each other. I tell them to get back to me when some kind of consensus has been reached, but not tonight. Tonight, she said, “Don’t give up.” And the other spirits were quiet. What the fuck are they waiting for? And why did they turn the most notorious red light, GREEN, tonight? I felt bad when that light turned green. That light never fucking turns green. Every time I get to that light, it’s red. Maybe my anger turned it green. The psychic lady I saw a few years ago told me I have joy spirits. Maybe that’s the magnetism, the funky light, electronic thing. I’ve had more than one psychic/medium person tell me, “you have so many spirits around you.” One told me they had revealed themselves to me. That is true, but a story for another time. I was just so down and I was bitching out loud and when that light turned green so I wouldn’t have to stop, I just felt bad because I know I’m never alone and I’m grateful that I have the ability to know that I’m never truly alone. And I am grateful that my spirits have intervened in my life and are here to encourage me when I’m down and just absolutely so fucking bitter that I’m useless to be around. Sometimes I don’t listen. Even to Myra, the grand poobah of spirit guides, because life is about choices. *Glower* *Seethe* But this time, I will listen. I can be very stubborn persistent, and that’s all she’s asking of me right now. FINE! FINE! FINE! I won’t give up. *growl* I want to though. I want to scurry away into my little cave because that’s what Scorpios do. But for you, DEAR MYRA, I won’t give up. I won’t scurry away in my little cave. I totally owe you one when I cross over. *growl* Damnit!
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