My Fabulous Life

I have a headache. Today his name is AZ. CAN ANYTHING ELSE GO WRONG?? Don’t answer that. Please don’t answer that. I have a been a paralegal for 9 years. I have been a writer for 25 years. Both require a certain attention to detail. It is my life. It is my personality. I work with lawyers and paralegals, who also carry these traits. I forget that others do not. Last Friday we were trying to call in an order when we discovered that the size smalls did not come in 50/50, only 100% cotton. This is what precipitated the call from me to the ad agency to determine if, per my understanding, they would accept 100% for the smalls. Yes, they would. My fault was thinking that AZ would remember this conversation or that I had understood him correctly or that he understood me correctly. I don’t know. Either way, when I talked him during the chaos that was our Wednesday, he believed that they had accepted 100% FOR THE ENTIRE ORDER. So, now, I have 138 shirts which, while the right color, are the wrong fiber content. No, they cannot be returned. Would anyone care for some 100% cotton maroon shirts in varying sizes (M to 2XL)??? Anyone? And no, the client wants the 50/50 even though the dye lots are assured to be wrong and the smalls will be a different shade of maroon. While he didn’t yell, scream, or cuss, AZ stated that I did not specify the fiber content. Frankly, I think I did. I know in the e-mail I did and if I’m not mistaken, although I could be, I also reminded him over the phone yesterday or maybe I didn’t make myself clear enough. Either way, I’m steamed. I’m steamed because we now have 138 maroon shirts that we cannot use and cannot return. I’m steamed because I’m being blamed for this fuck up whenever I’m only willing to take 50% of the blame and the reason for that is that if AZ had left the fucking credit card so that we could order while he was away instead of depending on calling cards and shoddy cell and Internet service, this most definitely would not have happened. Okay, one bitten, twice shy and all that other shit. Blow me. Not to mention, he’s not ordering anything until Monday so I then had to call the ad agency back again and tell them their order would not be ready until the middle of next week. The shop resembles a warehouse making it much harder to circulate the 100 degree air. AZ missed the FedEx pick up in BF-NC so payroll will be late. Did I mention he’ll be hand delivering those sometime late Saturday? Yeah, he’s coming back a day early. Hoo-rah. If you see fireworks from the general direction of WV Saturday evening, you’ll know what happened. Enjoy the show.