My Rings

I wear three rings. On my right middle ringer is a small diamond cluster which belonged to my Grandma Jessie. Beside of it on my ring finger is an emerald helenite (which I bought on my trip to the NW) flanked by diamond chips. On my left middle finger is a gold filigree ring with a ruby in the center which belonged to my Mama Madeline. These are the rings I wear but they are not the rings I used to wear. When my Grandma Jessie died in 1986, my Grandpa Joe decided he would take her good jewelry, as she had tons and tons of costume jewelry, and pawn it. That's right, pawn it. My dad gave him $50 for the bag and brought it home. Inside was my Grandma's wedding set, which included double solitaires and a band set with diamonds, and a 20 or so carat peridot. My Grandma smoked unfiltered Camels so at that time and anytime you saw it on her finger it appeared to be a smoky topaz. The peridot was believed to belong to my great-grandmother. The edges were worn and the setting was old although not antique. My mom cleaned it up and gave it to me. It was a huge ring and unusual. As I had never had much of an opportunity to get to know my grandmother, I was very proud to wear it. The wedding set sat in my mother's jewelry box for close to 15 years. One day she decided to have it appraised and was shocked to learn that one of the solitaires was worth $3000.00, the other about $2000.00. She had them re-set in earrings and had the diamonds from the band re-set in a different band. Over the years I accumulated additional rings. I had bought a ruby with diamonds as a gift to myself from Nate as the ruby is his birthstone. I also purchased a large smoky topaz, since that is my birthstone, and a sapphire surrounded by diamonds which I planned on giving to Nate's sister when she got older as that was her birthstone. Most of the jewelry I bought at a local pawn shop or put on layaway as, I'm not rich. The topaz and my peridot meant the most to me though. I wore my rings all the time although I was horrible about taking them off and laying them down wherever. It was my house afterall.... but they would come up missing and I would root and hunt around and there they would be. I added another ring when The Drunk-Boyfriend asked me to marry him. The ring was CZ but you couldn't tell the difference and it was quite pretty. Then one day, they all disappeared. Vanished into thin air. The last time I remember seeing them was around Halloween of 2001. I mentioned to TDB about it and he gave me a hard time saying that I was forever setting them down, how I didn't take care of my things, and how I was always losing stuff. As time has gone by I'm convinced that my rings were stolen, probably by him and he pawned them to pay for something he wanted. Perhaps if I had figured that out a while back I might still have the opportunity to find them, at least the peridot. If I can have nothing back but one, it would be the peridot. I've decided to go looking for them, at least to quiet my own mind that I've done something more than to just pray and cast spells. And its not only that... its that I feel I let myself down and a couple generations too. I feel the fool and nothing will quiet that in my mind. I feel responsible that I have let something so valuable and personal slip, literally, from my fingers. TDB is not the only suspect either... sadly. I had a habit of taking my rings off at work and laying them on my computer station because they would slip and slide when it was cold. Although I can almost say with certainty, I didn't go home without them. I would have felt naked. I wear these rings and appreciate the feel of the bands around my fingers, but I still feel naked.