Monday, November 15, 2004

Wasn't I Supposed To Be Somewhere? *Oops with P.S.*

Nate has developed the annoying habit of opening all of my mail whether I want him to or not. Since I get books in the mail from my club I prefer to check the invoice to see what’s actually IN the box before opening it. One such box made its way to my bedroom where it has laid in the vast abyss of blankets, clothes, sheets and, well, a lot of stuff. Nate found it and... opened it. I found the book and a set of cards lying on the bed. There was no need to ask him about it as I knew what he had done but as I always I wanted to know. He looks up at me with those big blue eyes and says, "Mommy, I think you need to read those cards." *Frown* Nate and I did not get along well this weekend as he likes to question, not my authority, but what I do personally as far as what time I go to bed etc. I very loudly *frown* told him this weekend that I don’t answer to him for anything. Back to the cards. The cover said, Inner Wisdom Cards by Dr. Wayne W. Dyer. I had never heard of this guy but I opened them up and read them. Then I opened the book that was laying there, The Power of Intention - Learning to Re-Create Your World Your Way. Holy shit. I began skimming through the chapters and saw this missive on page 11. Ego is made of six primary ingredients that account for how we experience ourselves as disconnected. By allowing ego to determine your life path, you deactivate the power of intention. Briefly, here are the six ego beliefs. I’ve written more extensively about them in several of my previous books, most notably Your Sacred Self. 1. I am what I have. My possessions define me. 2. I am what I do. My achievements define me. 3. I am what others think of me. My reputation defines me. 4. I am separate from everyone. My body defines me as alone. 5. I am separate from all that is missing in my life. My life space is disconnected from my desires. 6. I am separate from God. My life depends on God’s assessment of my worthiness. No matter how hard you try, intention can’t be accessed through ego, so take some time to recognize and readjust any or all of these six beliefs. When the supremacy of the ego is weakened in your life, you can seek intention and maximize your potential. Amazing, exactly what I needed to hear. Exactly what I’m looking for in my life right now. I haven’t read the book yet, but I’m starting today. The cards also were eye-opening. I release the need to determine how things "should" be - If you are suffering in your life right now, I can guarantee that this condition is tied up with some kind of attachment to how things should be going. No shit man. Here are two more: I live my life in my own way - You can’t go around being what everyone wants you to be, living your life through other people’s rules, and expect to be happy and have inner peace. And... I am a human being, not a human doing - Don’t equate your self-worth with how well you do things in life. You aren’t what you do. If you are what you do, then when you don’t... you aren’t. Obviously this guy has been around a long time and I’m just catching up but hey.... As I said, "Wasn’t I supposed to be somewhere?" More successful? How about married? More kids? Traveling? Out of debt? In debt? Boyfriend? Girlfriend? College graduate? Master’s degree? Finishing high school? Weren’t things supposed to be other than what they are? No. You are and I am, exactly where we are supposed to be. Everything in our lives have lead us to this moment. I’m not the only one grappling with this. Feeling as though I keep going along and getting no where. Time to tell the world what I told Nate this weekend, "I don’t answer to you." Additionally, I went to Seeker’s blog and was re-educated. Seeker and I see very much eye-to-eye on the interconnectedness of all of us with everything around us. It is, in my opinion, well worth reading his last two posts and his future posts on the subject. You create your thoughts, your thoughts create your intentions, and your intentions create your reality. I call this creative visualization but a rose by any other name is still a rose. I'll keep you posted on my journey. P.S. When you get the chance, check out joe-nobody.blogspot.com. First, page down and read "The Hoover Agility Steam Vac," then page up and read, "I'm Still Here," then read the rest. His post this morning was... erotic.
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