Saturday, May 28, 2005

Good News Abounds

The spot on my dad's lung is not a tumor. They're not sure why anything showed up on the x-ray. Maybe some of Trashman's mom's luck rubbed off on us. Smokey is still hanging in there, cranky as ever. One of our new four week old kittens had a seizure this morning (Nate was hysterical) and appeared to be at least partially paralyzed on his left side. He has since pretty much come out of it and is getting around better. I saw three rainbows today. Yet, I've been on the verge of tears all day. I can't get motivated to do anything, barely even beading. I started another project today with four others to do. Sigh. And no inspiration. I know I'm stressed over the day camp thing with Nate. I also angry about it and the reasons why its hard for me, realizing that had I not been such a dumbass before I wouldn't be paying off the debt I am now, which means I could afford to send him easily. That sucks. Its over and done but it still sticks in my crawl. And then there's the forgotten lower middle class. I'm not poor enough to get any assistance but I'm not rich enough to afford many opportunities for Nate that I want. So, if I were more poor I could get more help and if I were richer I wouldn't have to worry, so here I sit, the poor middle class. I should quit my bitchin'. I have a lot to be thankful for. It won't always be this way. And when I say that, I hope that my situation continues to improve. When I worry like this, it means I just need to give it over to the Goddess. Sometimes we can try way to hard to control things in our lives. Sometimes we need to remember all we have to do is ask and we shall receive.
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