Its all about the bitching

Went to get my film developed at my local K-Mart, since Wal*Mart is further away. Nope, they're sorry, they have already stopped taking film.... huh? Two hours before the store closes??? Fuck dat shit. With only four customers in the store you would think they would be more willing to keep what they got. Because I'm lazy and it was storming I left the film to be developed. Don't blame me, blame the Blue Light people. What the fuck is up?? With Lindsay Lohan and Nicole Ritchie? Somebody give those girls a sammich!! A big fat roast beef sammich with cheese and mayo. For cripes sake! Lohan looks like a scarecrow and I thought she was beautiful and voluptuous before. Ritchie, eh, she was a bit pudgy but even a scarecrow looks pudgy beside of Paris Hilton. You can tell that Paris is naturally just thin whereas Lindsay and Nicole look like voluptuous girls trying to be nasty thin. Lohan look downright SICK! Hollywood can suck my stretch marked, saggy, poochy belly!!! And each saggy tit. Being in shape and shaping up are one thing, but gahhhh!!! Good fucking Lawd!! And God Bless America!!! Do you peeps look through your kids' baby books so you can compare weight and length at certain ages to your nieces and nephews? I don't! I can't even find Nate's weight chart!! Nor his vaccinations!! And baby book? About 1/8th of the way filled because I was too busy trying to sleep and keep a roof over our head to worry about the first time I could no longer leave him on the couch because he had learned to roll over. I know he did most things on time and he didn't sleep for two years. That's its. I got some stuff written down somewhere but really, the only thing I remember is he weighed 8lb. 14 ozs. at birth and he weighed 10 lbs. when he was 10 days old. Needless to say, I’ve been listening to T-Bird tell me about her nephew who is a few days younger than Annie and how J3 was bigger than Andrew at that age, blah, blah, blah and how J3 is so much bigger than kids his age and how he’s wearing almost the same size clothes Nate is although Nate is two years older. I want to knock the shit out of her. I could literally take my fist and knock her out and tell her to shut the fuck up. She can’t shut up about it. Those two boys could not be more different in how they are made. Nate is tall, skinny, and has no butt. J3 is tall but broad and has hips, a bubble butt, and thighs. J3 is not fat (although of course she talks about his "baby belly" and I told her that was bullshit, kids don’t have a "baby belly" after the age of two, he’s five, deal with it). I have to buy Nate’s pants to fit his long legs... so he gets 10 Slims. In shorts, he can almost still fit in a 7 but mainly 8's because of the crotch. Shirts... ehhh... depends, mainly 8's but he has long arms so they don’t always fit him right. Not to mention his noggin is oddly shaped. He has this huge Anatolian ridge on the back, just like his father. A mark of the Melungeon. I don’t have the ridge, I have the bump. Anyway, it just irritates the fuck out of me and she’s supposed to have a job interview so maybe she’ll have something else to think about. The Anatolian thing reminds me of my dad too because he has the ridge. There’s talk in our family about the "Indian princess" which normally means Melungeon heritage. Interestingly enough, after all my research, I just read that the African portion of the Melungeon heritage (besides Northern Africans) are thought to be the Bantu tribe. Cool. I know that my great grandfather was part Indian but had those clear blue eyes, like the Belchers on my mom’s side. I believe he may have been Choctaw but finding information is difficult. Now I’m hearing about how T-Bird’s sister is a slut. Like this is news. Girl needs to stop thinking with her pussy and get her head out of her ass or his and straighten the fuck up. She’s got a kid to take care of. You know what, that’s something else that irritates me. At least in this area of the world, if you’re young and have a baby then everyone wants to pitch in and help and then the mother, the one who actually spread her legs is still off screwing around. Nothing wrong with helping but I’ve seen way too many young girls 14-21 still off fucking around instead of sitting at home taking care of their kids which just might deter them from wanting to go out and fuck around. Screw you, I was 25 when I had Nate. I had a college education, I had a job, a home of my own, and I didn’t run around still fucking everything with a stiff cock. Not that they don’t deserve help, because they do, just like I did. More and more though, they’re leaving their kids with grandma, or great-grandma even, or whoever and taking off down the road. That’s not responsibility. If you make ‘em, take care of ‘em. You don’t play at being a parent. So, now T-Bird is mad because she launched into this whole thing about who had a right to say something about her sister and I was just listening and agreeing and so she got mad because that’s all I was doing. *Yawn* So, am I supposed to write a dissertation about it? I am, she just doesn’t know it. Have you ever met someone with no hobbies?? Let me introduce you to T-Bird. Oh, I’m sorry, her hobby is trying to prove that her son is bigger, stronger, taller, fatter, skinnier, smarter than your kid and mine too. There’s something else that pissed me off. When I got home from Las Vegas, it was T-Bird who picked me up at the airport. Now, pardon me, but I don’t just jump on a plane and fly to Vegas with a man every day of the week. Really, first time for me. I was a wee bit enthused. Our conversation regarding my weekend went something like this. "It was a great weekend. He’s a wonderful guy," *gush enthusiastically* "Well good." Then .... nada. She doesn’t ask if we’ve talked, or how we are. Her mom got peeved at me because I was waiting for a bill to come in to pay to see if I was going to buy a piece of jewelry from this organization she’s working for. Because I was also saving money to see il mio sole again. She made a comment about how I need to pay my bills instead of jetting off around the country. Let me tell ya ... my phone, gas, electric, water are paid and stay on, I keep my mortgage up, my car payment, and insurance. Sometimes its not easy to eek out for extras, like the trips that I’ve been taking and yeah, I need to pay Nate’s school lunch bill, some medical bills and the garbage bill but you know I’m not going to stay chained to my office desk working myself to the grave. I have responsibilities to take care of and I do, for the most part, but I’m going live too. I saw what happened to my dad. I want a happy medium. So, T-Bird doesn’t inquire into my happiness and it takes me mentioning something for her to perk up but even then she doesn’t ask. I think she would be giddy happy if somehow something happened to fuck this up. In other words, I’m sure that deep inside she would derive some satisfaction from me once again falling on my face. I’m not sure why I’m still friends with her. If you read my series on her then I guess you know part of it but I’m beginning to question why someone who self-describes me as their "best friend," couldn’t be genuinely happy for me. It must be the lack of drama. Peeps who are truly happy don’t have much drama and if they do, they deal with it much better than peeps who are miserable. I’m sure some of it is the fact that I’ve gotten to the position where I can do things I want to and I’m not ALWAYS scraping pennies. It still happens at times but that’s life. She doesn’t have much of an eye for color either as she was trying to help me pick out colors for fairies. She doesn’t have much to say about my beading either or my writing nor anything else that means a great deal to me, even Nate. If anyone comes up in conversation its him but always as a comparison feature as opposed to just it being about what a great kid he is and the fact his conceptional reasoning skills far surpass that of most adults. My boy thinks in abstracts. T-Bird got a little miffed at me because she had made the comment that J3 will have surpassed her in intelligence by Kindergarten. I didn’t really play into the "joke" aspect of it when she said I was in the same boat. I merely replied that even though Nate has an IQ considered "Superior" he still didn’t get his Mama’s brains. So, I can be a bitch. Deal. I need some water and sleep would be nice. I finished Cybele’s earrings and other than that, I have not beaded. Although... I do have something in mind...