All Over the Map

MEN! HMPF! What is it with men? Maybe its just the ones I know, but how the hell is it that I dated Lex for six months and the guy never spent a dime going out with me, never actually took me anywhere, spent another six months after I broke it off to tell me how he felt six months prior, and now suddenly wants to spend time with me? Let me couch that by saying, he knows I’m seeing someone else and his chances of wiggling back in are less than zero. I’ll be damned if AZ isn’t the same way. Suddenly, now that I’m seeing someone else and have absolutely no romantic notions toward either of them, I’m suddenly their best girl friend. WTF is up with that? Not that I mind being friends with either of them... but here’s what gets me. If either of these head-stuck-so-far-in-ass-they-can’t-fart gentleman would have opened their mouths, respectively within the past 13 and 3 years, and said, “Nanner, I like ya, but I just want to be friends and be able to do stuff without worrying about all the romantic stuff,” boy would that have saved me a hell of a lot of shit. But then... you see... they couldn’t have used the “keep her hanging on until I decided what I want... the Plan B girl...” I got your Plan B. If I decide to grace either with my presence they’re paying. Speaking of Plan B My Plan B is San Antonio. The People I Greet I saw Old Don on the way to work this morning. I’d link my first story about him but I’m too lazy. He was my bus driver from the time I started Kindergarten. Now he’s old and palsied. He yelled to give my family his best regards and his oldest grandchild just graduated from high school. The sun couldn’t have been any brighter than his smile. Then there’s a guy that works at FS&B, which is another law firm the corner over from us. I keep forgetting his name but I know his grandson’s name is Trevor. Trevor was born with cerebral palsy and a host of other medical problems. At one time his seizures were so bad they didn’t think he would live another year. Little guy is only seven. I saw the lady from the sub shop across the street from FS&B. She has the same name as me. Her son-in-law owns the place and she works there. I know she’s probably shit a brick the size of a sub if she knew how he propositioned me. We’ll just keep that between us. Brenda and I saw each other in the alley. She works for the Board of Accounting has a granddaughter a little older than Nate. She’s one hip grandma. Family Schtuff My parents are still in it thick with Mr. One Cell. He has now built a fence on what he deems to be his property (but is not his property). The State Trooper told my dad, “If it were me, and I believed that fence were on MY property, I’d tear that shit down, throw it in his yard, and make him sue ME.” My parents have contacted a lawyer. I found this out when my Mo (that’s what I call her, not MoM, but MO) called to tell me my cousin has a brain aneurysm and is going into surgery today. He’s 45 years old. I’m glad they found it early enough to do surgery but that doesn’t much guarantee anything. Okay, I’m done. Is it Friday yet? Or at least 5:00 somewhere?