Tuesday, June 22, 2004

Hyper-Boy (Part III)

You might wonder what kind of relationship Hyper-Boy and Sperm Donor have now. Hyper-Boy has taught me the meaning of forgiveness and grace. I still have moments where I absolutely loathe the ground his father walks on. However, I will not say anything bad about his dad to him or around him, nor do I allow anyone else to. Even when Hyper-Boy asked me why his daddy was so mean. Hmmmm... Hyper-Boy was afraid of his dad and he didn't like him very well for a while. Stands to reason. Duh. Once his dad did what he had to do, got off most of the drugs and half the booze, took a few anger management classes and actually talked to me without calling me a bitch, they were allowed to see each other again, slowly. They both tried. Hyper-Boy loves his dad and tells him so. He hugs and kisses him. He wants to buy him gifts for Father's Day and Christmas. His love is big. His forgiveness is huge. Hyper-Boy has a gentle spirit encased in a blow-out body. He's sensitive, especially to suffering. I watch him grow and mature and I'm proud. He's worked so hard and accomplished so much. He's risen above many times. When he was born he came out pitching a fit. When they laid him in my arms I looked down and said, "Hi Baby." He immediately stopped crying and looked at me like, "Oh, Hi. So you're the Mommy, I'm so glad." When he awoke after his tonsillectomy he looked at me the same way but this time he said, "At least I didn't die." Talk about being reborn. I wrote this poem about him early last year while we were still manipulating his meds. It reminds me of how far he has come. Happy Birthday Hyper-Boy, Mama loves ya!!! Lonely Child Wandering Overwhelming light and sound cacophony, endless voices He looks from side to side trying to mend frayed ends of conversations to coherent thought Movement of lips of hands Of sneakers squeaking eyes following too many gestures He is frozen in confusion I touch his shoulder to guide to commiserate to give Field Trip money and the lonely child wandering looks out through my eyes
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    Blogger jp said...

    Wow, what a great story. You sound like a great mommy. I myself am a former hyper-boy, so believe me when I say that your son will be just fine. Give him some room on the piddly crap and be firm on the important stuff. Oh and I hate sperm donor. ;o)

    Thanks for visiting my site. I appreciate the kind words. Visit often and I'll do the same.

    6/22/2004 05:03:00 PM  
    Blogger Leese said...

    Hey Inanna..
    I'm crying here. You love Hyperboy so much. I can hear it in your words, but I'm sure you're the only one who will really know how much.
    Hang in there, sounds like a wild ride...

    6/23/2004 02:42:00 PM  

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