Inanna's Bar & Grill --> Caution: Sexual Content Ahead

This post is inspired by El Sid. I'll be drinking while blogging, althought not sure if I will get the drunk part. I only have a 1/3 of a 1.5 liter of wine left. Damn. Here are the official drinks of Anything Goes: Wine: Right now, Classic Burgundy... its all I got. Beer: Eichbaum. Its a German beer, its my favorite beer. There is no other beer close to it in my heart. I'll drink a Bud (Regular, Light or Ice) if you bring me one though. Liquor: Tequila, preferably Jose Cuervo Tradicional. Freeze it for about two hours, then shoot straight from the bottle. Makes the whole world go away... for a long time. Soft Drink: Dr. Pecker, I mean Pepper. Coffee: Coffee is coffee to me. I hate Starbucks. I think its the most bitter coffee I've ever drank. I don't like it. Give me Maxwell House anyday, black. I only have cream when I have coffee from somewhere else. Tea: Morrocan Green Mint. Makes me feel great. I could go on with Sports Drinks and shite but... nah. Let's get to the good stuff. I've had some recent experiences that I'd like to share with you. Not like I don't share enough. Anyway, about a month ago I went to Jamal's to get a pack of cigarettes but Jamal wasn't there. The young man who waited on me was obviously Middle Eastern, probably Lebanese, because Jamal is Lebanese. Anyway, he had this really, really cute accent too and he was really, really good-looking. I can't remember why he asked me what sign I was. It wasn't anything cheesy, it just happened in the course of the conversation. He may have had a birthday recently. Anyway, before I could answer, he said, "Scorpio." I was like, "Yeah, but how did you know?" (Just to clarify, Blondie here did not produce an ID and my tat was covered.) He said, "Because Scorpios, " he raised his hand to his face, "you talk," and I said, "with my eyes." He said, "Yes." And he smiled, which was really, really, really nice. I found myself wondering if he would like to date an infidel. Yes, I assumed because he's Middle Eastern that he is also Muslim. He may be Christian, but either way, I'm still an infidel. Who knows, maybe he was wondering the same thing. Maybe I should go find out. But what I wrote about Gene Simmons yesterday reminded me of what that cutie said to me that day. One of my male friends (with benefits) gave me the most glowing of compliments the other day. He said he had never, never, never, ever had a blowjob like the one I gave him. Now, that just makes me want to do one better. Nothing like a challenge to top yourself. One of my ex's told me I was a cocksucking whore in the bedroom and I took that as a supreme compliment. A guy friend asked me what I thought one of the major problems with men and sex was. I said, "They're not giving me enough of it." For some women, I guess it is about size, but its not for me. Its all about Pubic Bone Placement. Good PBP = Excellent orgasm, or at least potential. I was once with a guy who I call "Bic Dick." Yeah, a regular Bic lighter had a little more on it than he did. Oh, and he was built like a linebacker otherwise. I was hoping he was a grower but no, he was a shower. Didn't matter... he had excellent PBP and we had awesome, wild, uninhibited, S&M, bondage sex. The only drawback was he was too short for doggy style, but he made up for it. I've been with two guys who were a lot more amply endowed than others. Much more. For some reason, both thought they had Bic Dicks, especially one of them. Pay attention! No women likes having her cervix slammed. Unless they just really like feeling like men do when they get punched in the balls. If I say it hurts, don't tell me you're "tiny, little dick" couldn't be hurting me and then proceed to shove my ovaries into my throat. You will be dismissed. And no blowjobs for you! I feel sorry for men. Truly. Men, the wind blows, they are ready. Women, could take three minutes, could take three hours. I'm easy. When I'm ready, I wrap my legs around you and say, "Take me, I'm yours." And it doesn't take three hours, nor three minutes, but a lot closer to three minutes than three hours. My mind tends to be waaaaay ahead of my body though, so, saying that, its one of the many, multitude of reasons I like going south... It makes me hot and it makes the guy hot, but he's pre-occupied and he thinks he's getting all of the goods so it doesn't seem like foreplay to him, because that would mean he's actually "taking care" of some perceived need I have. I have a need for your cock in my mouth... that's what I have a need for. *This portion of my post is dedicated to Trashman, since he wants all the trash on me* I'll just be honest and say when I read on Steve's blog about him getting a blowjob, I was downright jealous. Of the girl. Oh yeah, I'm sure you're saying that I could find some guy to blow. You're probably right but then I have to worry about him never leaving me alone again. I'm not much for guys giving me oral sex. Its okay but I prefer going down on him or just knocking boots. I'm not one much for the "making love" crap either. Throw me to the mat and do me... m'kay? There's only one guy who actually got the picture and knew, alternately how to tease the hell out of me, and how to slam it home without breaking the bat or shoving my ovaries into my throat. God I miss him!! And, tantric sex is all well and good, really. I find the breathing exercises to be especially helpful in prolonging orgasmic delight but for God's sake, get off the "multiple orgasm" thing!! Women all over the world just let out a collective groan for me saying that. "But we like multiple orgasms!!" Who doesn't?? I do. But I also don't feel the need to knock boots for two freakin' hours because he wants to feel like he's the Rocky Balboa of sex. I'm really, really happy with tiny little orgasms as he sucks and bites the top of my shoulders in doggy position okay? That drives me absolutely fucking crazy!! But then, get out of the way!! Let me have my over-the-top, can't breathe, can't speak, ripping-the-pillow-apart orgasm, follow me shortly, then shut up and spoon me. And no, I do not want to talk about how good it was... ummm, that should have been pretty evident because I'm not exactly quiet leading up to it. If you have to get up and go potty, do so, but not 3 seconds post-orgasm. That's just bad form. If we're using a condom, I'll forgive you for that. And... I have a new rule for lovers. If you think enough of me to do me and I think enough of you to do you, then stick the fuck around. I understand that at times its hard to actually sleep with someone in a strange place but I guarantee that I didn't just pick you up in a bar and you don't know my last name. You're someone that I've gotten to know fairly well and happen to be able to tolerate. Do not diss me by walking out after I just fucked you. You will not be fucked again, you will never feel my mouth on your dick again and I guarantee you will miss it. Furthermore, if you have a problem with me giving you head while I'm on my period, then you have waaaaay too many issues. Gooch just commented and said its the age old conundrum, wondering how a girl got sooo good at giving head. Well, its not like I'm boasting of a multitude of lovers but I think, in my case, it has to do with just enjoying it, wanting to please and improving upon the perfection. LOL!!! Which leads me to my most current conundrum.... I swallow, which I guess most guys thinks is hot or rocks or whatever, but... doesn't that get to be a bore??? What if he wants to come somewhere else?? I have a bad habit of getting completely caught up in what I'm doing and don't ask the question when I know its getting close... shame on me!!! See, still have some improving to do.... ;o)