Tuesday, October 19, 2004

I am so fucking mad right now I could chew nails and build a house with my mouth. I guess if your kids are pissed off at you you're doing something right. I'm so sick of Nate and his fucking excuses as to why his work at school is not done. Why he has oodles and oodles of homework that he's now bucking the babysitter on completing. So, Mommy Dearest here had to come home and chew ass and bust ass. I busted ass because I told him to stay in one place and finish his work and instead he follows me into the kitchen wanting a hug or rather wanting another fucking excuse not to do the damn work. That little piss ant!!! Then he has the fucking nerve to tell me that he doesn't think I like him anymore. Well, I bet he won't be saying that again because he got a very loud lecture on how if I didn't love him I sure as hell wouldn't give a goddamn if he ever completed an assignment, in or out of school, and that making sure he gets a good education and learns to apply himself towards something is part of my love for him. Furthermore, little boy, I said so. Yeah, that's right, I SAID SO. Got a problem with it? Too bad. You're too young to get a job and even if you did have a job you're still not going to tell ME how the balls bounces in MY house! WTF? I sound like my mother!!! I'M TURNING INTO MY MOTHER!!! ACK!!! And just once I'd like for that piece of shit sperm donor to have to be the heavy. WFT is this every-other-weekend crap??? I offered the slime ball shared parenting. We live within five fucking miles of each other and he can only take time out of his busy fucking life for every other fucking weekend?!? Bite my ass and kiss it twice. How did the best thing in my life come from the absolute worst situation and mistake I ever made? HowinthefuckingSamHelldidthathappen?? And what's worse about sperm donor is he blames me for all of Nate's problems. Like, I'm not doing a good enough job. Well FUCK YOU ASSHOLE!!! I could rant about how Nate's meds and other expenses far outweigh the child support I receive but why? It is what it is. Even if you are working under the table for Mommy and Daddy and I have no way of proving it. Okay... I'll give ya that. BUT YA KNOW WHAT? SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH ABOUT NATE AND THE JOB I'M DOING WITH HIM M'KAY? SPERM. DONOR. You have NO ROOM TO TALK about being a good parent. Why is it you're always a part of the problem but never the solution? That's alllll right. I got broad shoulders so you go ahead and heap it on because I'm not the one who's going to be sorry in the long run. Yeah, he's a brat sometimes, like today, but he's MY brat. And someday I'm going to have a man who loves me and my brat and we're going to make more brats and he's going to be a daddy, not a sperm donor. And he's going to be there when I get like this and tell me to calm down and chill and kiss my hatefulness away. And after we put all of our brats to bed ... well... you get the picture. Ohhhhh, this day has made me re-think my "ideal" man.... Can I just cut it down to someone who's going to love me and my brat and be there for me and my brat and someone I can love and be there for and have more brats with? Such a simple thing... so hard to find.
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    6 Comments:

    Blogger Cattiva said...

    Oh man...I have those days. Kids in hyper-spoiled-brat mode, doing ANYTHING to avoid what they don't want to do (housework, homework, you name it). Disney dad pisses me off too. Sure, he thinks he can do a better job, BUT he can't stand to have them BOTH together in the same weekend. How the hell does he think he could have custody? Asshat.

    10/19/2004 10:11:00 PM  
    Blogger Inanna said...

    Oh, that reminds me of sperm donor. I end up with both of the kids because he can't handle them arguing... ummm, their siblings!!! And one of them isn't even my blood child... but she's still mine.

    10/19/2004 10:20:00 PM  
    Blogger Cootera said...

    Tell it like it is...

    As someone who can't bear children, I can only sympathize with the parental distress you must go through from time to time. But the Sperm Donor sounds like a great many men I've known in my life. "I'll take 'responsibility' when it is convenient for ME." Fuckwads...

    10/20/2004 10:02:00 AM  
    Blogger Inanna said...

    Unfortunately, I'm not alone in the category of having a shitty father for my child, you got that right... parental distress... yep.

    10/20/2004 10:16:00 AM  
    Blogger jp said...

    Yipes! What is it about our kids that can have us totally wanting to kill them and start fresh one second and totally remorseful and ready to hold them until they fall asleep the next?

    You're a good mom, Inanna. You're doing everything you can. My mom was a single mom and it sounds like you two have a lot in common. I turned out fine...Nate will too. As for Sperm Donor, some men are just selfish assholes that will never "get it" until they're lying on their deathbead. They won't think about the shit they think they're doing now that they feel is important. They'll think about how they missed an opportunity to raise a great kid and be with a great woman like you, Inanna.

    10/20/2004 12:34:00 PM  
    Blogger Inanna said...

    No shit JP... that's exactly what its like. As for sperm donor, he's stupid enough to tell all of his girlfriends that he'll never love them like he loved me... considering how he's treated me, I would flee!!! Plus, it isn't exactly great for building some sort of relationship with this chica who's going to be around my kid. I'll admit I was on the ass-end of vulnerable when I met him but that's no excuse for being a dumb-ass... which I was. Ahhh the joys of paying the Piper.

    10/20/2004 12:41:00 PM  

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